{"id":2124,"date":"2013-08-26T14:19:31","date_gmt":"2013-08-26T13:19:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.heresie.fr\/thievicz\/?p=2124"},"modified":"2013-08-26T14:19:31","modified_gmt":"2013-08-26T13:19:31","slug":"des-chassures-pour-audacieux-et-audacieuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/2013\/08\/26\/des-chassures-pour-audacieux-et-audacieuses\/","title":{"rendered":"Des chassures pour audacieux et audacieuses"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>\n<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>\n<o:AllowPNG\/>\n<\/o:OfficeDocumentSettings>\n<\/xml><![endif]--><\/p>\n<p><!--[if gte mso 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Ou plut\u00f4t l\u2019adaptation d\u2019une vieille chose.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">&#8211; Eh bien, allez-y, expliquez-nous quel en est la fonction\u2026<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">&#8211; Cela sert \u00e0 produire un son lorsque l\u2019on marche, une sonorit\u00e9 flasque, g\u00e9latineuse, gluante, \u00e9voquant tout \u00e0 la fois le batracien en copulation et la chute d\u2019une fluide d\u00e9f\u00e9cation sur un sol fangeux. De plus, comme les pieds sont \u00e0 l\u2019air, on peut empuantir l\u2019atmosph\u00e8re tout en laissant claquer la semelle sous le talon gr\u00e2ce aux deux ficelles passant par les orteils, ce que les antiques sandales n&rsquo;autorisaient qu&rsquo;au prix d&rsquo;un n\u0153ud l\u00e2che et d&rsquo;irritations. Sans compter que l\u2019on doit fort bien nettoyer la rue de sa crasse en incrustant la salet\u00e9 sous ses ongles, mon invention est donc presque d\u2019utilit\u00e9 publique, les pieds seront certes sales mais les rues d\u2019une relativement plus grande propret\u00e9. Et puis, avouez, quelle attitude grotesque l&rsquo;on peut avoir en \u00e9voluant avec ces choses aux pieds.<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">&#8211; Votre esprit va toujours puiser dans des prodiges de d\u00e9mence\u00a0! H\u00e9las personne n\u2019osera jamais porter ces\u2026 comment les appelez-vous\u00a0?<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\">&#8211; Des tongs. Et croyez-moi, pour paraphraser Nietzsche\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0Soyons s\u00fbrs que les gens seront capables de porter des tongs aux environs de l\u2019an 2000\u00a0\u00bb, je suis certain qu\u2019\u00e0 cette \u00e9poque-l\u00e0 la d\u00e9cadence aura op\u00e9r\u00e9 de tels progr\u00e8s que les femmes porteront des pantalons courts d\u00e9voilant la naissance de leurs protub\u00e9rances fessi\u00e8res et auront go\u00fbt, pour accompagner ce spectacle, de s\u2019octroyer l\u2019\u00e9l\u00e9gance de produire des bruitages d\u2019amphibiens et une d\u00e9marche de bossu d\u00e9g\u00e9n\u00e9r\u00e9.\u00a0C\u2019est d\u00e9j\u00e0 le cas depuis longtemps en extr\u00eame-orient, \u00e7a le sera en occident bient\u00f4t, tr\u00e8s bient\u00f4t, croah croah croah ah ah\u00bb <span style=\"mso-spacerun: yes;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;\t\t<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00ab\u00a0Mais que sont encore ces horreurs\u00a0? &#8211; Ma derni\u00e8re invention\u00a0! Ou plut\u00f4t l\u2019adaptation d\u2019une vieille chose. &#8211; Eh bien, allez-y, expliquez-nous quel en est la fonction\u2026 &#8211; Cela sert \u00e0 produire un son lorsque l\u2019on marche, une sonorit\u00e9 flasque, g\u00e9latineuse, gluante, \u00e9voquant tout \u00e0 la fois le batracien en copulation et la chute d\u2019une fluide [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2124"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2124"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2124\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heresie.com\/thievicz\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}